Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
