if you like me you must not know who I am
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
Boobs speak an international language.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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