Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize
