I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
Randomize
