just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
i think my cat just said my name.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
