we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
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