What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Randomize