I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Randomize
