We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Randomize
