Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
