But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Randomize