Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
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