god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize
