He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Randomize
