Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
Randomize
