who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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