Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
