ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
