His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Randomize
