Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize