Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
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