Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize