Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
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