yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Randomize