I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
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