GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
