I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
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