physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
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