He told me they were just razor bumps!
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize