Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize
