That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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