what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
