His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Randomize
