I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
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