I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
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