dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Randomize