i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Randomize
