Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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