Buhtt sex?
I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
