Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
Randomize
