Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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