It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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