she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize