That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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