Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Randomize
