I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Randomize
