from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
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