There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
