So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Randomize
