just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Randomize