i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Randomize