Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize