Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Randomize