wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
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