we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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