I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
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