her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Randomize
