he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
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