How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Randomize