worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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