I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
