By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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